Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Today was really interesting. I missed the last bus back to Willowbrook, so I spent a couple of hours on the phone trying to find a ride back home, and finally ended up getting Sheila to take me home. The MHN callout was very interesting. Carlos seemed very disturbed or emotional when he began speaking about what Marxist-Humanism was and how it fit onto Purdue's campus. I am sure he sensed or was unsure of the political inclination of his audience.....which I sensed was more conservative than either he or I- especially considering the answers they were calling out to his provocations. I was really suprised, but shouldnt have been I suppose when JC showed up. He is quite cute and I definitely have taken a liking to him....but I take a liking to any man that I can talk to for more than two minutes these days. I may have let on...or been obvious aobut it tonight as well. I usually am. I hope he comes over for dinner sometime. I had a four hour lunch with Dr. Dorsey today, it was great and I of course love Dr. Dorsey to death. He is my cornerstone here at Purdue. he has definitely been that--he along with Dr. Williams- that has kept me sane and grounded for three semesters. I met Jorge today, he is interesting, very cute, and intriguing. I would love to chat with him more. I sent him an email. Dr. Dorsey's conversation was very enlightening and shed some light to me about the goings on of academia. I wonder what he has to say about Angela Davis...... There are two little white girls behind me (college students) who are having a private conversation...and what I hear definitely sounds like what they are....little white girls. I was thinking today about my experiences at Huntingdon. Huntingdon College was defintiely a blessing in disguise for me. We did have such great people there guiding us, modling us, and who left their indelible mark upon me ( and Rebecca, but Ill let her speak for herself. I am of the utmost debt to Greg Salyer, Chella Courington, Cecile Gray, Dr. Deal, Maureen Murphy, Jane Williams, mmmm., Kim Szpiech, and a couple of others who worked effortlessly, and tirelessly to create an intellectually stimulating, growth stimulating, warm, and loving environment. Greg and Chella were the rocks I stood on. My memories of Huntingdon College were fond and fabulous. It was definitely a progressive environment ( at least in our little web) and one that I will always and forever cherish. To think back on it now, I cant believe, and it is amazing that I was introduced in my freshmem year of college to Feminist Helene Cixous and Julie Kristeva...god....I am so greatful to Chella. I gained my intellectual bearings at Huntingdon College. Greg Salyer challenged me, accepted me, tolerated my tendencies, yet forced me to be more open than I was and am. I am forever greatful for those lessons. Dr. Deal provided stimulation, structure, and guidance....a father figure. Jane Williams was our mother hen..taking us out to lunch and dinner always....and providing us with a wonderful love and tenderness. Susan Koppelman has also been a wonderful mentor to me....even vicariously. I look forward to meeting her. I am the grateful beneficiary of her wisdom, advise, goading, and chastisement. I am surrounded and connected to the most wonderful, established, and giant figures that I can imagine. Susan, ....... who taught the first Women's Studies Course in the country, Mab- who paid me the greatest compliment I have ever recieved....she told me that I reminded her most of herself while she was at Huntingdon College. Chella.....Greg...... My cousin Betty, the pulitzer prize nominated Journalist who interacted with my Uncle Lawrence.
I am more than

Saturday, February 14, 2004

Friday was a beautiful day for me in two ways. Firstly, I heard the Brown sisters speak, they were powerful, they were poetic, and they spoke the truth. In Cheryl Brown Henderson, I found a feww soul sister, a warrior for the cause of justice who is bold, beautiful, and unafraid (or perhaps afraid not) to speak the truth to power and imagine a new world where there is equality and justice for people of color and all other oppressed as well. I neded to hear her speak that night. Her words were like salve to my soul and were a reaffirmation of the fact that what I was doing was right. I care about people and about justice and I care about seeing the basic needs of each and every member of a society are meet. I would like to live my life accordingly to this. The second reason why Friday was such a good day was because I happened upon a man again hat I had very much attracted to. I had happened upon him three times, all three b y accident. Thie first time we meet, we were at the bust depot waiting for the bus, and I spotted him and we started chatting, primarily about what I was studying and what I was interested in, and soon the conversation moved to my proposed topic of study, Double Consciousness. We talked for a long while. I gave him my number and he promised to call or look me up, as he had no phone. The second time was the other day while I was tabling he passed and then stopped by on his way to the library,and then the third time was that evening when he popped into the compuer ab that I was using there in the Union. H e was fabulous, and I had known that he had been in a bad situation, as he had lost his place to live, had no phone and no job at all- all of this after having graduated from Purdue. He was really sweet
and really beautiful, and that night, after we had watched the Brown sisters speak in Fowler Hall, he made me admit to him that I was into him. He was beautiful, and we spoke and had great conversation after that, yet he refused to tell me whether he liked me as well or whether he was gay or not. We did talk a long time, yet he never let on to whether he dug me or not, and wouldnt either refuse or accept my offer to kiss him while riding the bus. He promised to contact me, however he didnt know when because he had been evicted and was being forced to move the next day(god what a horrid system).When he lifted his hat and placed it back on his head and turned to walk the forty minutes it took him to get downtown and then to his home, I was at peace and new that I had been touched that day and that what he had given me was worth more than most anything I could possibly have, even if I never saw him again.
I havent worked on this blog much in the past year. I could say that a lot has been going on, especially when it really hasnt. I have been going to school , (even though that doesnt occupy more than half of my time or a third of my energy) or I could say that I am not technologically inclined and for some reason as well I have been mistrustful of placing my feelings and thoughts into the written record , I dont know why but something has prevented me from doing that and I need to shop this force from undertaking me. i need to get back into the writing mode, I need to free my dried up creative juices and explore the world newly invigorated.