One of the things that has truly shaped me and the crux of what I believe and how I operate has been my response to what my grandmother told me, on several occasions. My grandmother, with some sort of pride or something much less than remorse, would tell me of how when my mother was in Catholic School, at one point a nun made a point of telling the class that my mother was in that Black people were Black because God put a curse on them. When my mother refuted this statement and then declared that just the opposite was true- that whites were white because of a curse, the scene escalated until they sent my mother home and told her to not return until she found the passage in the Bible that refuted this statement. My mother went home and frantically called her grandfather, the Bible expert, and they located the passage--in Exodus I believe, where they spoke of how Miriam was turned white after she had sinned.

My mother took that passage back to school and the powers that be were mumed, and sore to have been displaced by a Black girl (teenager). Well, that just put my mother in the dog house as far as those nuns and the Catholic School went. When it came time to go to college, my mother wanted to go to Kentucky State (my Aunt Carolyn's alma mater). Well, when time came, the school "forgot" to send my mothers school records to Kentucky State--- and it was clearly a matter of their gripes about the previous incident. My mother went home and told my grandmother of it and my Grandmother's response to her was "You shouold have kept your mouth shut."

Everytime my grandmother would tell me this, I would get infuriated to hell. Goddamn that. Lord please thank you that it wasnt me. Because I would have probably kicked my grandmother's ass and then proceeded to tear that school (St. Michael's on the North of Chicago).Now granted, my mother didnt suffer much from it-- she enrolled at Miles in Birmingham and did her studies there--and didnt seem to adverse to it. But still. If I wanted it, I would have had it and no white bitch and my grandmother would have stopped me from having it. From that day forward I do believe that is when I took the position that nobody would ever stand in my way or do anything to me with out me opening my mouth. I believe it was then that I decided to speak and Speak and SPEAK and goddamn it I will be heard! I cannot believe my grandmother. But alas, I never said she was the most progressive person in the world. God forbid.... I still shake and tremble when I think about it.