I'm The Greatest Star

I have 36 expressions
Sweet as pie and tough as leather
And that's six expressions more
Than all them Barrymores put together
Instead of just kicking me why don't they give me a lift
Well, it must me a plot
'Cause they're scared that I got such a gift
Well I'm miffed
'Cause I'm the greatest star
I am by far
But no one knows it
Wait, they're gonna hear a voice
A silver flute
There'll cheer each toot
( Yeah, she's terrific!)
When I expose it!
Now can't you see to look at me
That I'm a natural Camille
As Camille I just feel, I have so much to offer
(Hey listen kid I know I'd be divine because ...)
I'm a natural cougher
[couching sounds]
Some ain't got it, not a lump
I'm a great big clump of talent!
Laugh, they'll bend in half
(Did you ever hear that story about the traveling salesman?)
A thousand jokes
(Stick around for the chokes)
A thousand faces, I reiterate
When you're gifted
Than you're gifted
These are facts I got no ax to grind
He, what are you blind?
In all the world so far, I'm the greatest star
No autographs please
[spoken]
Do you thing beautiful girls are gonna stay in style forever
What if I say not, any minute now there' gonna be out
Finished than it'll be my turn
[sung]
Who is the pip with pizezz?
Who is all ginger and jazz?
Who is as glamorous as?
Who's an American beauty rose,
With an American beauty nose,
And ten American beauty toes,
Eyes on the target and wham
One shot one gunshot and bam?
He mister Keeney here I am

I'm the greatest star
I am by far but no one knows it!
That's why I was born
I blow my horn
Till someone blows it
I'll light up like a light
Right up like a light
I'll flicker, then flare up, ah, ah!
All the world's gonna stare up
Looking down you'll never see me
Try the sky 'cause that'll be me!
I can make them cry
I can make them sigh
Some day they'll clamor for my drama
Have you guessed yet, who's the best yet?
If you ain't I'll tell you one more time
You bet yer last dime
In all of the world so far
I am the greatest, greatest star!