My Thoughts on Sexuality

I have for a long time been an adherent to Helene Cixous' theoryconcerning bisexuality,primarily holding the belief that everyone is bisexual to a degree. I remember my first introduction to Cixous'work as a freshman in college(thank you Chella!) which really enlightened me as to sex and provided a philosophy for understanding it. After that introduction, I recognized Cixous' theory imbedded within the characterization of the character Pierre on a re-read of Alice Walker's Possessing the Secret of Joy(I had read Possessingin high school, before reading Cixous--I would definitely love to ask Alice Walker about that). These two cornerstones in my literary/theoretical growth made me value and realize the ultimate freedom that we are supposedto have,but which most of us don't because we bow down to social constraints. Since that time, it very much amazes me how much that I have found that the rigid lies of sexuality become fluid in my own experiences, primarily in crossing boundaries(Anzaldua is coming into my mind)with socially defined straight men into the realms of the homoerotic. I find myself somewhat open-mouthed at the number of friendships that I have formed with men who have been blatantly straight and how easily those relationships become homoerotic. I am thinking at this moment of an experience that I had in befriending a jock that lived close by me-a young white male from Colorado attending graduate school. I had initially let him know that I was quite interested from the start--and he then informed me of his impenetrable straightness. However it quickly became homoerotic and definitely moved into the realm of queer. This leads me to ask, am I a queering agent? Furthermore and even more important to think about is this all too fresh discovery as to the fluidity of sexuality, and particularly male sexuality. The only way I can sum this up is by quoting Yentl--"The More I Learn, the Less I know." There is always more to discover. We simply have to open ourselves up to the discovery.