I want to blog about something that is pressing against my mind. Everytime I talk to a man does not mean that I am looking for a relationship. Sometimes I just want to fuck. This country and the people in this country are becoming ever more conservative (populations truly do move as a monolith).

I don't know why people have the mindset that everyone needs to WANT a boyfriend, or needs to be looking for one, or needs to be in that mindset to express interest in someone. I believe in being free, and I believe in being liberated to live as you please. And that means when I want to have sex, I am looking for sex, and when I am interested in more than that then I am. Alas, even if I am interested in more than just making use of your body, that doesn't mean that I am looking for any kind of commitment. What ever happened to people like Germaine Greer or Alice Walker who moved freely and in directios in which they were led by their wants and desires and not by any set conventions?

I believe in blending, connecting,appreciating and allowing for that to grow and nurture or to fade away like two ships that just meet briefly out at sea. I have never been in love with anyone (although some people may think that I have been in love with them). More often than not when I meet men (and somewhat, people, for that matter), I am bored with you after about the first five minutes of conversation and am really no longer paying attention, probably looking for a way to depart. I don't say that as a way to be mean or anything, but most of the men I have encountered simply do not captivate me. Of the men I have been involved with,Kelly was very sweet,very reserved and conservative-- I enjoyed him.

Anatoli was strictly sex, I enjoyed his dick ( and still desire to sometimes)and though he completely satisfied me sexually and we do get along as friends, he does not intrigue me. Alas, (I love Anatoli) most times he would tell me that I was too much of a radical and ask me why I was so much into Angela Davis and her communism. So much for spiritual and intellectual connection. That is what truly makes the difference between someone to love and someone with which you enjoy something else ( be that friendship or sex or whatever). Charles was really sweet and I totally relish the experience that I had of being involved with him. He was a friend and we blended totally-- with music, with dancing, with talking, and with beautiful sex. He was a breath of fresh air that I definitely needed. A beautiful dance that I enjoyed while the music lasted.

Alas, I don't need anyone to hold my hand, and I do believe indeed that there is a serious problem in this country and with the people in it. You cannot and really don't need to be involved with ANYONE until you can walk on your own two feet and be One with yourself. I don't need anyone to hang on to. However, I must admit that I have followed a bit too much along the lines of my Aunt Betty's sage advice that "You don't need a man- you can make one, you just can't blow any breath in him." I don't think it is necessary to dehumanize.

Alas, companionship is nice, and it is something that is sweet and very good to have. However, if that was all I wanted out of this world( or out of a person), I would by a dog. Appreciation is something totally different.